More Willie

It’s been awhile since I spoke of my lover, but I was chatting with a friend this evening when the subject was broached. Not in my own terms, but it seems I am not the only one with internet obsessed fans. Confused and wondering what I am talking about?

Butt Monkey and his Willie Morris Is A Liar blog of course :)

I hadn’t checked in at least a few months to see if it was still up and figured this guy (or girl) probably found better ways to use his free time, but alas, it remains. And the good news is it has even received minor updates.

Now I do have some gripes with Butt Monkey that I will address in letter format.

Dear Butt Monkey,

Everyone likes lists so I created one to air out my grievances, please take these into careful consideration…

-Your posts are less frequent than mine. If you are going to devote a blog to someone you should probably update it more often. Like twice a day please.

-I have yet to find out your name, how can you be fully appreciated when you shield yourself with a veil of anonymity?

-Blogger? Really? Free blogs were cool in like 2002. At least host your own. A proper domain name would be flattering as well. Perhaps williemorrisisadouchebaggayliar.com? Maybe drop some vowels to make it more web 2.0 though.

-You’re moving to Fort Lauderdale as I did and you are relying on fate for our paths to cross? No, no, no. Do some detective work and find me. Then you can follow me around with signs letting the world know that I am truly a huge douchebag and a huge liar. Take pictures, post them.

-Design, design, design. New banner, better layout, and an actual picture or at least an avatar of yourself. No one likes a monkey striking the GOATSED pose.

-Consistency. I do remember someone messaging me and asking me about the UHaul incident, but you were oh so polite, I would much prefer a little angst and mockery to go along with your sites attitude. I hope if you met me you would at least spit at my feet, anything less would be somewhat of a letdown.

-Scope & Content. Up until now, you’ve really only focused on this UHaul issue which was only a minor hurdle when I moved to Miami and in which I played a minor role. There are much better things that you could focus on now.

So alas, Butt Monkey, you have once again graced the pages of More Willie, but I warn you, this could be the last time. I just don’t update enough and unless you address these issues there just won’t be any interest left in writing about you.

I love you.

-Will

PS All of your comments will be recieved with open arms.